Dear Moo,
Most of the time I love you a lot. Since we have moved, you have kept me awake all night long screaming in the window and running back and forth from one end of the house into the bathroom and back into the dining room. If I have to listen to this one more time, I may hog tie you at night while I sleep.
There is no reason to yell at the bathtub faucet. Screaming at it will not make the water come out. Sitting in the sink for hours only makes the drain fill with your hair. Oh, and that orange and white cat you see in the mirror is you. Of course he talks back, he says everything that you do.
It is unfair of you to think that you can stay up all night long and sleep all day when everyone in the world is awake. Reverse your schedule. I will never understand why you feel that you need to sleep at the noisiest times of the day then glare at me contemptuously when I run the vacuum, get something to eat, bug you to stay up or anything else that may disrupt your sleep like you do to mine.
If I get one more sleepless night, you may start sleeping outside.
Love,
your human
p.s. I'm the one with the fish treats- if you do not be nice and start cooperating you may never see them again.
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