Friday, March 2, 2012

Super frustrated

*sigh* It never seems to fail that after months of complaining that nobody sees Hail and weeks of promises that grandma or someone would like to take him for the weekend, they call the last minute with an excuse as to why they cannot. It frustrates me to no end that he gets hurt like this because someone has changed their mind, or someone else in the family is more important. Not to mention, it would be nice to have some time to myself every once in awhile.

I hate seeing his face when after being told he gets to go to grandma's for the weekend that now he is not. Luckily he is young enough that he doesn't really understand what is going on and that he isn't super affected by it yet. Luckily I had a backup plan for the weekend since I knew this was going to end up happening. It just frustrates me to no end that everyone complains and makes it sound like it is my fault they aren't getting to visit him when really, they are the ones that have canceled. I feel as if I don't even want to be bothered with asking or making attempts any longer. I feel like it is useless to pack up his stuff or even tell him he gets to go until someone shows up on my doorstep and says, "Is he ready to go?"

I just see a sad pattern beginning to happen that I am all too familiar with from childhood. I don't want that for Hail and I feel so thankful for his other family-- the "family" of Raph that Hail has chosen to adopt and who has adopted him as their own. It seems anytime that we call upon them for a night out to dinner or a few hours to grocery shop that someone is always there to watch him. It just seems so sad to me that his birth family can't do the same. Really, the only ones being hurt by this is them. Hail has already figured out on his own, at 17 months, whom he wants to call family and does.

1 comment:

Bailey said...

It is hard, but why set yourself and him up for failure? If it was me, I would stop citing the fact that they don't show up. It is hard to do without family, but when they aren't there, you aren't losing family support, what you are doing is cutting off the pain of disappointment.

I can truly say I don't miss the members of my family that I turned myself into a pretzel to accomadate schedules over the years only to have them opt out. Now I've opted out and found much better company.

 

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