Update

I have not written on my blog nearly as often as I wanted to. I have been overwhelmed with parenting an active and fussy little one as well as everyday life, working and all other life's attempts. We have survived Hail's first birthday, Halloween and now we are approaching Thanksgiving. I'm not sure what we are going to do for the holiday but I'm sure that it is gonna be a little rough.

Some of the challenges we are experiencing include; separation anxiety, "mommy neediness," not walking, not really talking, not using sippy cups or making huge attempts to hold his own bottle (he's starting to work on it but gets pissy because he hasn't figured out that he has to tip his head back), not wanting to eat table food or feed himself,and not sleeping well at night or nap-time. He throws a huge fit each time it is time to sleep and he wants to go to bed at 6PM, which means he is getting up around 3AM. I have tried and fought him to stay up longer and the couple times I succeeded, he still woke up that 3AM :/

Other than all that, things have been going well. We got our own place in Portland. We live with an awesome guy who loves us, and all the bills are getting paid. What more can you ask for right? Here's a recent picture of the little one on Halloween.

Summertime

Well, summer hasn't been all that I hoped that it would be this year. It has been largely in part to my horrible work schedule as well as the fact that the weather here has been less than summery. It seems that it can't decide what it wants to do- one day it will be sultry and nearly 90 degrees and the next it's overcast and looks like it's going to rain.
"Dear Mother Nature,
Make up your mind.
Thanks!"
I guess it's a good thing that Hail is still too young to really understand or enjoy the summertime. Hopefully he does once he gets a little older- maybe next year. I find it funny when he wrinkles his little nose when the sun is in his face and he crinkles his forehead when rain falls on it. I sure do hope that he learns to walk before the height of fall. I want to teach him to "leaf crunch".

Here are a couple photos from the highlights of our summer so far.

In the first photo, he was swimming in his first swimming pool.
In the second photo, we were playing with circus animals on the floor on a cloudy day.
In the third picture, he is enjoying his first river trip, squishing sand between his fingers.

I love Summer

I love the summer time. It's the only time that you can go out and do all those fun things in the outdoors that you weren't able to do in the winter and fall months. Things like slap your friends on the back and claim it was a mosquito, eat fresh watermelon that doesn't cost a million dollars, go to the county fair, camping, swimming and just play outside in the sunshine!! Sadly, with my new work schedule, I don't have the time to do most of those things most of the time. I have the money to but not necessarily the time. Working 5 days a week 15 miles away from home is taxing. Because I work across the bridge, depending on when I have to be there, I sometimes have to leave for work over an hour early for a 20 minute car ride. I'm hoping to have a long weekend soon so that I can go play in the sunshine with my baby boy!! You're never too young to go camping!

4th of July

Never before have I been so excited for the 4th. This is going to be Hail's first one and although I have to work, we are gonna celebrate it early. I figured, since he doesn't really like loud noises that I would get some of the more kid friendly fireworks and let him see those so that he won't be so overwhelmed by the loud bangs and booms, dogs barking, car alarms and other loud noises that the night brings. Hopefully he will enjoy it as much as I plan to.

It's Been Awhile

So it has been awhile since I have posted on my blog. Life has been hectic and crazy. for those of you that are wondering, here's what's been going on.

I finished my fitness challenge. In total I lost 60 lbs and 5 inches. WOOHOO! I'm not anywhere near where I want to be but I'm getting closer everyday.

Hail is growing like the speed of light. He is nearly 3 feet tall and weighs a ton. He's so cute (I"m not biased at all)!! He has 4 teeth now and knows a few words. Dada is his favorite which I'm really trying to break him of, but he also knows no-no (because of Auntie No-No), Nigh-Night, mama, baba, papa and Momo. He has started crawling and pulling himself up to things as well. He gets around fast too! He sits up a little bit but falls over just as quickly. I think it's because he's so tall-- it throws off his equilibrium.

My divorce was made final in April and now I have the most amazing boyfriend that is the sweetest guy in the world. Not only do we love him to death, but he loves us to death too. Here's a picture of him and Hail when we went to the zoo.

Other than that, life has been work, work, work :)

Awesome!

Recently, I agreed to do a fitness challenge with my roommate Megan. We joined LA Fitness and we currently have a 6 day gym schedule. Since I started going to the gym, I feel AWESOME! I lost 7 pounds in the first three days. We meet with a personal trainer twice a week and we have been trying all kinds of classes like cardio kickboxing, cycling class, and tonight it is Aqua fit and Latin Heat. It's gonna be great. Although I hurt in many places that I didn't know existed, it's a hurt so good kind of pain.

Since going to the gym, I have noticed that my thighs are shrinking (!!) and I have a lot more energy. In the same beat, however, I find myself to be ravenously hungry all the time because my metabolism is increasing and my muscles need some food. I have learned that I am becoming more flexible, I sleep better and I can do things longer that I was previously able to. All around I feel great. I really like the set up of the gym too. It is a lot easier to go to the gym when you like the gym you are going to. I had a membership at 24 Hour Fitness once and that was not the gym for me. I hated their layout and they had huge membership and cancellation fees that I do not have at LA Fitness.

I was never able to justify spending the money on a gym membership previously. Going for myself was never a good enough reason for me to get my ever widening butt in the gym. Now that I have a little one, I realize that I am now doing this for the both of us. I want to watch him grow and become old. If I am overweight, can hardly breath, suffer from arthritis, have face cancer- whatever, I am not going to be able to be the type of parent that I want to be to him. Hail is more than enough justification now to be willing to paying the membership so that I can spend a longer, healthier life with him. After seeing how easy it was to lose the first ten lbs, I have set myself a very specific, realistic goal and hopefully kickboxing and latin heat will help me get there. Ole!

Move Out!

Lately, Hail has been waking up early in the morning. Sometimes as early as 4 AM. Since moving, we have been sharing a bedroom and although he currently has his own dungeon bedroom in my spacious walk in closet, he still wakes up way too early. Only this morning did I realize the source of this problem, me.

I am not one to really toss and turn much but every time I do roll over or move, my mattress springs creak a little underneath me and Hail wakes up and thinks it's time to play. After picking him up and putting him in bed with me in the wee hours of the morning in hopes of him falling asleep again to no avail, I got up to go brush my teeth and start the coffee. When I opened the bedroom door to bring him to the front room with me, I realized that he was almost asleep again!

So, I have come to the conclusion that it is time for him to move out. He is going to go to the kids' room and hopefully he will not be woken up by Serena nor him wake her up. I really hope that this works out because this momma could use some sleep!

Mommy's Need a Break too!

As many of you know, Hail has been teething. Anyone with a child knows the pain of teething.... They scream, cry, throw fits, they want up, they don't want up, they don't want to be on their back, on their tummy, or play with any of their toys. they hurt, and because of it, you hurt too. It's painful to be the single mommy of a teething child. to make matters all the worse, he is also having growing pains.

For me, this means that I was up off and on all. night. long. I strongly believe this is the possible cause of shaken baby syndrome, SIDS and child abuse. When mommy doesn't get sleep, nobody is happy. I don't like being unhappy, it makes me feel like a shitty parent. Yelling at my kid doesn't do any good, although I did it :( Leaving him to cry in his crib to take a nap doesn't work because he screams bloody murder and sounds like I'm beating him savagely. Overall the last few days have been beyond stressful for me!

Thank god for parents! my mom is taking him for the night. This is his first over night visit as well as my first night without him. Sadly, instead of going to do something kid free, I'm staying at home to work.. I'm lame I know :) That's okay though, Thursdays are usually my day off so anything I make today is just bonus for Hail and I. The real fun comes this Saturday when I have a date!

Social Butterfly

Anyone that knows me knows that I love to meet people. I am a social butterfly that flutters back and forth between groups of people talking, laughing and making jokes. Being social is not really something that I have done in awhile. They always say that jealousy is a green eyed monster that can eat you alive and I have found that it is very true. This was partly why I have only now begun to be social again.

In the last month, I have met some amazing new people. My roommate is AWESOME- I love her! She has been an encouraging reason in opening up my limited social circle and has even invited me to go out with her and her friends the next time that she goes out. No, we don't go hang out at clubs getting tanked like college kids- we both have kids ourselves! But it will be nice to have social interactions with people my own age that can speak full words and don't just growl and grunt at me, although there will always be the few that do :)

I hope that I will be able to continue to meet new fantastic people and keep my social circle growing. You never know when you are going to need a friend for something and who can be your helping hand. The more people you have that surround you with support and the potential help that you need, the better off in life you will be.

Mirror, Mirror on the Floor

Lately, I have been trying to get Hail acquainted with recognizing himself instead of just seeing himself as a separate baby in the mirror. This has provided me- as well as him- with a lot of entertainment. He hasn't quite figured out that the baby in the mirror is him, but he has learned that the baby does what he does. He really enjoys a good conversation with that baby too. It's cute to watch him babble to that baby as if the conversation is ever changing. His doctor says that he will learn to recognize himself and I believe that he is getting there. Any time we walk by a mirror, he has to stop and say hello. If I ask him if that is my handsome Hail, he smiles and laughs. He's really working on it. He's developing like crazy and it's such an amazing thing to watch how quickly he grasps things.

The other day, he learned cause and effect. He stuck his foot in his mouth (literally) and bit his toes. He was stunned because he didn't know why his foot hurt. Then when he did it again, he realized that he was doing it to himself. I was shocked at how quickly that sunk in. But then again, a little pain teaches a quick lesson :)

Handmade With Love

I love handmade items. As a crafter myself, I feel that it's important to support others in what they do so that they will keep doing it. That is why, when I went to my parenting class on Thursday, I HAD to have the hand quilted diaper bag that I saw. As many parents of an infant know, there is a lot of stuff you have to carry around with you anytime you go somewhere with the infant. You have to make sure that you have an ample stock of diapers, wipes, baby powder and formula. Not to mention a change of clothes for the baby, a shirt for yourself, burb rags, bibs, a toy, teethers, a snack if they are to the point that they eat them and a small blanket never hurts either- those bathroom changing tables are gross! Because of this need to carry the baby's room with you everywhere you go, a big diaper bag is essential. For Christmas, my sister gave me a new diaper bag that had more pockets but wasn't really much bigger. I rocked it for awhile until this beauty came along :)

I LOVE THIS BAG. Not only is the red and yellow giraffe and elephant design super cute, but I can fit everything in it that I want to and still have a little extra room. The sewing is quality and thick which is nice since carrying all of your child's belongings can get heavy! I have always wanted to learn to quilt but I never found anyone that was able to teach me. The one place in town that has a quilting club requires that you have all your own equipment which I don't have, so for the time being it's a distant goal to work toward.

I don't know who made this bag except that it was a church friend of the awesome lady that does my classes. I'm sure that the bag was handmade with love as all items that are handmade usually are. So when I'm out and about and someone asks me who made my bag, I will be telling them, "I don't know but I know she made it with love because I love it!"

Myxer Website has Some Awesome Stuff

A friend told me about this awesome website last night called Myxer. This website is AWESOME. It is full of ringtones, wallpapers, apps, mp3s and videos that you can download to your phone for free or very little. I got two ringtones and two wallpapers for my phone absolutely free. At first I was super skeptical of the site because I thought that it was going to be like Jamster which charges you $10 a month to use their service. I called my phone company immediately after making my first selection- a Celtic shamrock for the upcoming holiday. There was no pending charge from them on my phone. Yay! A site that really is free when it says so.

Not all of the ringtones and wallpapers are free so be sure to look before you make your selection. The one that I did look at that you had to pay for stated that the company cannot charge your phone bill directly therefore, they use request authorization for Paypal so that you can purchase your ringtone. As many of us know, you have to sign into Paypal to confirm your purchase, otherwise it doesn't work.

I can foresee a lot of fun coming from this website. You can even send them to your friends if you find something that they may like.

NOTE: This post is completely my own opinion and is not a sponsored post by any company.

Disney Junior is Fantastic

Ever since Hail was approximately six weeks old, he has liked the Mickey Mouse Clubhouse cartoon. Whether it's the bright primary colors or the catchy, simple songs, he has always been drawn to it. There are many others that he doesn't seem to like as much. Handy Manny, the show that follows Mickey Mouse has also been a favorite because of the simple songs and bright colors. I also feel that it has something to do with the few Spanish words, the tone and sound is different and he is attracted to that.

On February 14th, the Disney Channel converted their toddler daytime programming from the Disney Playhouse to Disney Junior. With this switch, they also replaced a few cartoons with a few new ones and streamlined the airtime so that you are not watching back to back episodes of cartoons and the schedule is the same every day. This has been very helpful for a parent like me that keeps the cartoons on all day for auditory stimulation throughout the day. Before it became Disney Junior, the schedule would change every day as to what cartoon was on at which time and how many times. This caused confusion and chaos while trying to figure out a schedule.

Now, instead of breaking up cartoons with other little cartoons, there are educational fifteen minute shows such as "what is a poem", "three healthy steps", and "Mickey Mousekersize" where kids are encouraged to get up and follow along. A few other shorts also include things such as learning to clean up, picking out patterns, sharing and routines such as waking up and brushing your teeth.

Overall, I feel that the new layout of airtime is used much more effectively than it has been. The biggest downside has been so far is the elimination of Oo and Ah the monkey puppets that used to host the Playhouse. Hail really liked them.

Show the Love

Just a little message to say Happy Valentine's Day from us to you! And a special reminder to show some love this year! Whether it's a big kiss to the ones you love or a simple "You rock!" Or perhaps a snuggle like the one shown in this photo of Hail and his cousin whom turns three today!Not to mention, this is Hail's first valentine's Day, woohoo little guy! No matter how you choose to show it, don't forget to spread it around and let everyone get that warm fuzzy feeling today.

How will you be showing the love on this Valentine's Day?

Compounding Problems

Lately, I have had several issues with being able to find the time to work on the things that I really want. I have had issues with meeting deadlines, working on things that will ultimately bring me the most long lasting income, or even work on things that I need to to help build my new business I am trying to create for myself. But now, a new problem has arisen. My computer, the new one that I just purchased in July is having problems. Half the time it doesn't want to work.

At first I thought it was an overheating problem as the computer gets hot and the fan is rather small. so, I purchased an external fan for the computer. The downside is that I can barely use it because it runs off of a usb and it slows the computer even more. So much so that when it is plugged in, the computer will freeze whether you are using the internet or updating my spreadsheet. The problem it was having was an issue with freezing. It will start up and work for a couple of moments and then it freezes, same as with the fan being plugged in. Admittedly, I work this computer like a slave. At first I thought that it was just bogged down, but when I deleted most everything and moved it to an external hard drive, it didn't do any good.

So, I have no idea what is exactly wrong with my computer but it is a complete hindrance when it decides to crap out. I have gotten WAY behind in work because of it and I am trying to catch up the best I can. So, if you don't see me, I'll be impatiently sitting next to the mailbox form y tax return so I can purchase a new computer.

Just Can't get Ahead

Balance. It's something I've struggled with for a long time. It seems that once I get ahead in some part of my life, I fall behind in other parts. Hail and I spend a lot of time together and because of this, we are developing an awesome relationship and he is getting smarter and smarter with each day that passes. He is learning a lot, more than I ever thought someone his age ever could in such a short time, but I guess what they say is true- babies are like sponges and they absorb everything.

Because I spend so much time with Hail, my work is falling farther and farther behind. I am trying to build a residual income so that I won't have to work nearly as much, but in order to have that passive income, I have to write the articles that will generate that income to begin with. At the start of the month, I had a plan to do 3 articles a day, I thought that this was a reasonable goal so that my passive income would grow. However, I am now 27 articles behind. That is really not good. I am not the fastest writer, but even so, 3 articles a day was something I could easily do had I the time to do it.

The last couple weeks I've been suffering from a mystery illness. I have had right side kidney pain, the need to use the bathroom every 30 seconds without being able to and on occasion throwing up. :( I went to the doctor and they told me that they had no clue what was wrong with me. They ran a bunch of tests, checking for pregnancy, a urine analysis, CAT scan, blood draws and they can't find any sign of infection, illness or anything wrong with me. Because the pain and overall sickness has persisted, I had to go to the specialist to see if they could find anything. He thought that perhaps I was passing a kidney stone. Nope. Then he told me that it could be muscle pain. I don't really see how muscle pain could make me have to pee all the time, but I'm not the doctor. Before I left he told me I was fine and not to lift ANYTHING for ten days to see if it improves. Being a single mom, that is just not going to work at all. Have you ever tried to tell an infant no, I won't pick you up? It just isn't going to happen. This was another instance of reasons why I am farther behind. Not only did I take the bus to get to the doctor's office, but I was there for nearly three hours getting tests and lab work done.

The two things I am most pleased about about my doctor's visit is that my blood pressure is back to normal and I no longer have to be on medication. I have also lost another TEN POUNDS since the first of the year. GO ME!! I am now 30 pounds less than what I weighed before I got pregnant with Hail. Woohoo! I guess that's what being on a mostly liquid caffeine diet does to you...

Working on a New Project

As some of you know, I'm a pretty crafty person. This year, I really want to work on crafting for money. I m pretty positive that I can do it if I can find the right place to sell them. Although I love writing, it is very time consuming. I don't seemingly do much else because writing, editing and then waiting for someone to edit my articles and pay me for them takes a lot of time. I have been working on a few items and I feel that it is about time to try to post them and sell them.

The idea that I have been currently working on is greeting card placemats. I put a post on freecycle.org for greeting cards and got a huge response. I ended up getting enough greeting cards to make about 20 placemats. So I'll have 5 nice sets. Obviously each placemat is unique and even within a set, they will all be different. I've never seen anything like them before, and I'm really hoping that I'll be able to sell them for something decent.

How much would you pay for something unique such as this?

It's Not the Grossest Thing That's Happened

I think that as a parent, that is the only time you can ever say everyday, "that's not the grossest thing to happen to me... yet." For some, their "yet" may never come. As a parent it's probably unlikely that it will. Just today, I've been spit up on twice and drooled all over. And yet, that still won't be the grossest thing to happen to me.

Yesterday, I had to clean up baby poop that was running down Hail's leg because he had a massive explosion in his diaper. The gross things just never seem to cease and everyday you can end it by saying, "that's still not the grossest things that's happened to me."

What are some of the gross things that have happened to you as a parent?

Discipline

I never realized how important it is to discipline your children until today. I mean, I always knew that a child needs discipline to grow and learn, but more so than ever, to learn to act like a proper human being. Unfortunately, we can't always be the parent and the friend to our child.

Today, I saw a mother and her children in the store. One of them was small enough to still be in the car seat while the other was a young child somewhere under 5. The infant was asleep in the car seat and the child was pitching a huge fit in the back of the basket over fruit snacks. He was jumping up and down, banging his little fists on the car seat, waking the infant who immediately became distressed and began crying as well. Instead of disciplining the child for throwing a fit, waking the infant and jumping in the back of the cart which was completely unsafe, the mother ripped open the box of fruit snacks fresh off the shelf, opened a package and gave it to her son. Had that been Hail, I would have not have hesitated to spank him right in the middle of the store. I do not really agree with spanking but if my kid was acting in a way that was not only annoying but also dangerous to himself and others I would not hesitate to do anything in my means to stop the situation immediately. And if that meant spanking him, then so be it.

Later on in the store, I saw this same mother with her child. This time, she was attempting to bribe him with stickers if he behaved the rest of the time in the store. Obviously this didn't work, and the child proceeded to throw his fit for more fruit snacks and started ripping the stickers off the wall and throwing them in the floor. So, the mother picked up all the stickers, selected the one that she thought her kid would like best, and gave him another fruit snack pouch from the box.

I thought that I wanted to be one of those cool parents that was more of a friend than a parent to their child. After this encounter, I can clearly see why this can never work. If I were to give Hail everything he wanted, then I would be allowing him to be the parent and ruling me instead of educating him and attempting to teach him to be the best person that he can be. Teaching him to be an awesome person with all the perks of kindness, charity, good will toward man and to stay a sweet person even through trials and shitty dealt hands is my ultimate goal for him. I know that at times I will be able to be his best friend, but for the most part I have to be his parent. Otherwise, there is no telling what sort of person that he may end up being, especially if I teach him through my actions that he can walk all over me and other and get what he wants by pitching a fit.

Chuck E. Cheese Child Check

Last night we went to Chuck E. Cheese for my niece's 5th birthday. This was our first Chuck E. Cheese adventure, and, surprisingly it went better than what I was expecting. My biggest complaint about the whole ordeal is their "child check." Realistically, the concept seems like a great idea, but when you have some teenage girl manning the counter that is more interested in the boy inside the Chuck E. Cheese costume than standing by the door, I'm a bit concerned.

First of all, although I am sure that Chuck E. Cheese is a safer place than most for kids, that does not mean that parents should let their three year old little girl wonder all over the place by herself. That was an exact situation that happened while we were there and that little girl ended up falling off a carousel horse face first. She wasn't hurt badly, but the tears began to flow and crying ensued. Places like Chuck E. Cheese is the perfect opportunity for child molesters and rapists to get a hold of your child, especially if you are just letting your 3 year old little girl run around by herself. Your child doesn't have to leave the premises for harm to come to him or her. Someone could take them to the bathroom or into the back corner and do as they wished, then leave the child with the games once they are done. Many kids aren't taught about "stranger danger" these days, when it seems like family places as such would be the perfect opportunity to do so. For instance, the little girl that was crying let me pick her up and wonder around with her until we found her parents. Me, a complete stranger, could have easily taken her from the restaurant in a heart beat, something that I would never to with a stranger's child but it would have been that easy. She was even snuggled up to me while she cried with her hurting face as if I could have been her mother.

Any person that walks in with a child is required to have a stamp on their hand that matches the stamp that is on their child. Even my cousin whom is 16 was required to get a matching stamp to the one of my aunt because she was under 18. This seems well and good, but in my case specifically, when they place the stamp on his car seat instead of on him directly and he is being walked around the place to see everything, how is that going to be helpful? If someone was really interested in stealing my child, they would not be running back to grab his car seat to put him in.

Another instance of how Chuck E. Cheese's child check does not work is this. I have a big family, a large fraction of which were at the birthday party. Two of my aunts brought their children with them. One st of my cousins were 19 and 16. The 19 year old did not have to have a stamp. The other set of my cousins are 13, 10, and 8. Although this was an instance in which this was legitimately okay, it could have been horribly wrong, none the less, this is how it went.

My aunt took her 8 year old nephew outside to put him in the car. The girl working the child check station stopped them and asked to check their stamps. My aunt told her that this was not her kid, but she was simply taking him to the car for his mother since she had her hands full. Legitimately, this was the situation. The lady asked him if it were okay that he go with her, which he said yes. Now, what would have happened if the two of them were complete strangers to each other but she had told him that if he did not say it was okay to take him to the lady that she would go back in and hurt the rest of his family? The simple matter of the fact was that she looked as if she were forcibly removing him, by grabbing his wrist and pulling him (all a staged act) but they were allowed to leave together none the less.

Now, my aunt's two children who were 19 and 16- one with a stamp the other without. Were told to try to leave together after we were all outside. Although they are brother and sister from the same parents, they look nothing alike. They were allowed to walk out together without any questioning or even a second look from the teenage girl that was supposed to be doing the child check. Keep in mind, had she of been doing her job, she would have known that one of them came with no child but was now leaving with one.

I am pretty sure that it is not just me, but this system seems extremely flawed. Regardless of whether you know the kid, you should not be able to leave with them under any circumstance unless their parent is standing right next to you.

4 Months Old!

This is my beautiful son Hail. Yesterday, he turned 4 months old. He had his 4 month check up yesterday and I was a little surprised with what the doctor had to say. First, he is a happy, healthy, baby. However, he is underweight. I really don't know how this can be since it seems like he does nothing more than eat all day long. He weighs a healthy 15 pounds and 6 ounces but still less than what he should be. Since his last visit two months ago, he has only gained 6 ounces!

Unfortunately, it does not seem as if Hail will inherit his dad's "tall" genes. Since the day of his birth, he has only grown 4 inches. He was 21.5 inches when he was born and now, 4 months later, he is only 25.5 inches. I thought he seemed tall :)

Whether this is a bad thing or not, Hail also has a small head. But that small head of his is filled with a lot of knowledge already. He is very advanced in the way that he moves, the doctor was very impressed that he can grab things,hold his head up, roll over, "talks" and that he is scooting all over the place. He said that most babies at his age don't do so well with these things. He was also very impressed with how well he is able to follow things with his eyes and his head.

And lastly, Hail has begun teething, officially. He is drooling on everything and everything he can get his hands on goes in his mouth, including his hands! So we have been given the go ahead to start solids! His doctor says try fruits this month, veggies next month and then meats, because digestion wise, those are the most difficult to keep down. And of course he can have baby cereal at any time.

He also had to get doses of vaccines as well. This time, because he didn't have breakfast before his appointment due to our alarm not going off (it was a common thing- when my sister came to drop off her car and go to school she said that hers didn't go off either), I fed him while he was getting his shots, therefore, there were no tears. This momma likes no tears. :) Overall, the appointment went great! He's happy, healthy, short and smart :)

Bounce!

So, for the last couple of days, I have been telling Hail that when I get paid, I would buy him a "bouncy, bouncy". I had originally thought to get a Johnny Jump Up because they are fairly inexpensive and they just clip in the door. They are great for building leg strength and strengthening back and neck muscles. My sister and I went to Wal-Mart today to pick one up, come to find out, they don't carry them in the store. We looked in the baby department, the toy department- twice, before someone told us this.

So we went back again to look at bouncy chairs and exersaucers. Now, admittedly, I am not a fan of Winnie the Pooh, for children's rooms and baby toys, I think that it is way over done and I am not really a traditional person. While looking at all the "bouncy, bouncys" as we call them in my home, I had two choices a pink one that was nearly $40 or Pooh. So Pooh went home with us today. After assembling the seat, I realized that I forgot to get batteries for the stupid thing! Although he had to make it bounce by himself, Hail has had a blast with the chair ever since we brought it home. The little bar that sits at eye level has Tigger toys that rattle and he can pull on. Overall, it was a great $36 purchase for all the smiles and giggles I've gotten out of it already. I can't wait to see what tomorrow brings when I go get batteries and it can bounce on it's own and sing. :)

I got Scentsy with it :)

Many of you might not know this, but I am a sucker for a good cause. My best friend, whom lives in an oxford house, is currently doing a fundraiser for Oxford America selling Scentsy products. Admittedly, it doesn't seem very manly having a house full of 10 adult men selling wickless candles to people but, hey, like I said, I'm a sucker for a good cause.

I have always loved the smells of Scentsy products and know many people that have purchased Scentsy products in the past. Being a candle lover, but also having an infant that is quickly on his way to becoming mobile- not to mention a cat that can't keep well enough away, any sort of a candle that had no flame is perfect for my home. Always attempting to doing the charitable thing, I bought some Scentsy products. It took a long while staring at the catalog trying to decide what I wanted. First I had to choose a burner. I have limited space, so of course I wanted the most economical thing possible. Plug-in Scentsy is perfect. Now, it's a candle but a night light too! Choosing my scents was the hardest. The best deal was to buy 5 and get one for free. So, that's what I did. With over one hundred scents available, I spent over an hour sniffing rub-and-smell stickers trying to determine which I liked the best. The decision was difficult but I had to do it. It's for a good cause!

All said and done, I purchased a plug in ceramic burner, and six fantastic re-burnable wax bars for $40. I don't know if that money will go to buying coffee for all the oxford houses in my area, or helping them fund a project, but I felt good knowing that I helped. And, the best part of it all was that I got something cool out of the whole deal.

Lets Get Real

It is no secret that I do not have many friends. Perhaps it is my crippling honesty that drives people away or my inability to tell people no, which consequently allows everyone to walk on me, which in turn also means losing friends because once they have bled me for what they can, they are done. Whatever the case may be, it leaves me with few friends, and sadly, many of the ones that I do have don't live in the same state as I do and I've never met in person.

Right now, I could really use a good friend. Someone that doesn't know my other half, someone that can listen and let me bitch about anything and everything for awhile, and someone that will just be mad for me that I have to go through it all. So where does one turn to find such things? Where else but Craig's List. While looking through some of the ads that people place, it is no wonder that they are looking for more friends. I do not disclude myself from this either. Obviously, I have flaws that keep people away in droves- two of the biggest hindrances- I have a kid and no car. I recognize these flaws and I will be more than glad to point them out to you even before we meet, therefore, you have no expectations of something you won't receive. But seriously, lets get real.

Do most people really not see that they are limiting themselves when they state that they can only have friends that work a regular 9-5 are fit and like to drink every Tuesday? What kind of a peach are you when you are being so specific that you are essentially looking for a clone of yourself? Stating that you can't have friends that are over or under the 20-25 age range, or completely eliminating everyone with kids means that you could potentially be eliminating the perfect person from your life. The way that I see it, that single mom that continues to work for her kid and is willing to give up her Saturday night to watch The Princess and the Frog for the millionth time and wake up at 5 in the morning with a small child that had bad dreams obviously has a really big heart and a lot of love to give.

Why is it that people feel that they need to present themselves as a package instead of just saying 'hey, this is me. Take it or leave it. I'm broke, I give everything I have to someone else, but I'm happy to do it again. I just want a good friend to laugh and cry with. Someone to share my good times and bad ones.' You don't need someone to get f*cked up with every weekend, you don't need the next STD to crawl in your bed, or your 15th child to pop out either. Did that bottle of tequila really make you happy? Even as you passed out on the bathroom floor in your own sickness? Do you wish you could just stay in watching a movie or reading a book for once, but can't now because the friends you limited yourself to having expect you to go out and dance until your legs hurt and your toes are bleeding from the uncomfortable heels you *had* to wear?

Lets get real. Limiting your options isn't going to help you find what you're looking for. It's all about the options.

Starting a New Series

So I have been preparing to start writing a new series for awhile now, and I have started working on it today. As many of you know- or don't- I am working on getting my professional baking degree. My absolute favorite thing is cupcakes. I love cupcakes. How can you not? They are the perfect solution to having your cake and eating it too. They are bite-sized and small enough to fit in your hand. In my head, smaller means better. Half the calories, fat,sugar, clogged arteries- err.. did I say that out loud? For all these reasons and many more, this makes cupcakes perfect.

Now, since we would all like to be super-mom but don't have the time to do so, most of these recipes are perfect for the "at home baker" as I like to call them because they come from a box, wearing a fancy dress to look as if they are something else. That is to say, it's a box mix with some stuff in it to fool your friends and family to think that you slaved away over a hot oven all day making something fabulous when in reality- it might take you 30 minutes. For anyone that wants to follow- here's where you can find all my new delicious cupcake recipes as well as many other fabulous food, holiday and parenting articles that may be helpful to some or entertaining to others. And don't be afraid to comment, become a fan or follow me. There's always new stuff going up and always something to talk about.

Uggh... TAXES

Today, I spent nearly all day long doing taxes. This is one chose that I hate each year until my tax return comes. I had to do them THREE times because of complications and programs that wouldn't allow me to change things. However, I am FINALLY done! Not only that, but the program that I used let me file my FAFSA all at the same time since I could just attach it to my taxes and send it all off at once.

This year was the first time that I worked the entire year as self employed. I didn't know what I should expect, but because of Hail, I was able to have a fairly large return- more than what I was expecting. There were many deductions that I did not saving receipts for until the middle of the year, therefore, I didn't bother to claim those deductions. This year, I was unable to itemize because of my lack of deductions, but next year, for sure I will be able to.

TurboTax refused to let me make any changes. For anyone that follows me that is self employed, I do not recommend using TurboTax or HR Block- to file self employed, you have to pay for their service. TaxAct- the program that I finally decided to go with not only lets you make changes, but suggests how you can save money on your taxes, lets you fill out your FAFSA, and is completely free to file electronically. The only complaint that I have about TaxAct is that instead of showing you when you are in the clear by changing color- the little box stays orange and the little word that says owe turns to refund.

I am glad to finally have my taxes completed and out of the way. I made more than I was expecting to and the money that I made will be going toward getting myself a car- something that I desperately need- taking the bus is not only difficult when you need to keep appointments but is also confusing and frustrating when you have a little one to take with you.

Feeling Defeated by a Shining Light

So for those of you that have been following me, you know that Hail and I have been sick this week. He hasn't wanted to do anything but snuggle all week now because he hasn't been feeling well. Just like me, when he gets sick, he has to sleep sitting up. Because I'm afraid that he may suffocate if I prop him up with pillows and blankets, he has been sharing my bed when he wakes up so that he can sleep on my chest in the most comfortable way possible. I know that this has attributed to his excessive need to snuggle but I don't know a better way to go about it and I don't want the guilt and even more sleeplessness of knowing that he might suffocate in his sleep. Since doing this, I have learned a good tip that my doctor told me that any frugal moms on here may like to know- if you can't afford a humidifier, rub Vick's Vaporub on your chest and put on a t-shirt. By allowing the baby to sleep on your chest covered in gunk, you are acting as the humidifier. Since he's too little to rub it directly on him, it's the next best I can do.

Yesterday while snuggling, the movie Corina, Corina came on Showtime and I had to watch it. I've always loved the movie and I hadn't seen it in a long time. When the ending came, being the sentimental schmuck that I am, of course I cried, but I also realized that Hail is my little light and he shines so brightly. And I'm gonna let him shine as long and as bright as he can. Now, being that he is a long lasting, brightly shining light- like an Energizer bunny, I have felt so defeated.

It is hard work being a single parent that works from home. I am with him 24/7, and since we've been sick, nothing has been done. Every time I think that I may have a few moments to write a quick article or edit a paragraph, he wakes up. It's as if he senses that I'm not paying 100% attention to him, even if he is sleeping. I am so behind with work that I feel as if I am only making it by the skin of my teeth. Something that I am completely not used to. Not only that, but I can't seem to make him understand- without listening to him scream- that it is okay to play by himself and he doesn't need me to entertain him all the time. I know many people that would tell me to just let him cry it out, but have you ever tried to work or even think when your baby is screaming and you know that the only thing that they want is you?? It is the most heart-breaking and difficult thing to do in all the world. I can't do it. I never thought I could ever feel so defeated by something so bright.

Caring For an Infant When You Don't Feel You Can Care For Yourself

So today I have had the most difficult challenge of my entire mommy-hood. Right now I am working on getting over a cold. I feel extremely physically drained- I have a severely stuffy nose and I keep coughing up crap from my lungs. Hail is feeling better from the little sniffles that you had yesterday and I would hope so after sleeping nearly all day long yesterday. Hail has been a ball of energy all day long- talking, playing jumpy-jumpy and doing all the other things that he enjoys. I on the other hand have barely had the energy to hold up my own head. I feel completely inadequate. Being a single parent is hard enough. Being a single parent when you don't feel well and have someone that wants your undivided attention all day long is even more hard. I was able to keep up with him but I did try to slow his pace some. Hopefully tomorrow will be better.

Adventures on a Bus

The other day, I had to go to WIC. In a car, the WIC office is less than 5 minutes from my house. Since I don't have a car right now, I thought, "I'll take the bus, the trip can't take that long and if thousands of other people can do it, I can too." Wow was I wrong. I don't know how anyone can rely on public transportation for anything. This was my horrible adventure.

I left the house 30 minutes before I needed to. The bus was 45 minutes late. Now, I'm starting my trip out 15 minutes later than I need to. I get on the bus with Hail and there are no seats available. Nobody bothers to allow us to have a seat, so we stand. Now, in order to get to the WIC office, you have to take 3 buses to get there. Each bus runs back and forth in a straight line up all the main roads. The first bus was 15 minutes late, the second bus that we need only runs once an hour, and we missed it. So we start to walk. I don't know if you have ever carried a child in a car seat for any length of time but it adds at least 10 pounds. I carried him for over a mile, then it begins to rain.

By this time, I am so frustrated, tired, and late that I call my sister crying. Luckily she was on her way home from somewhere. Conveniently, she lives right across the street from the WIC office. She came and picked us up and we ended up only being 15 minutes late. Now, here's the kicker- When I get to the front counter to check in they ask me if I have the printed certificate, which I hand her. She gives me 3 months worth of checks and tells me that in April Hail had to have another weight check. I DIDN'T EVEN HAVE TO TAKE HIM WITH ME!!! Had I know known that, I could have gotten the neighbor, or even Noel to sit with him for the half hour it would have taken me to get there and back since I didn't have a class, he didn't have to be weighed or even seen. Why can't they be more clear about these sorts of things before you get there???

In conclusion- I have no idea how people depend on public transit when they are always late, or it takes you half the day to get somewhere when you have to wait for buses that only meet up where you need them once an hour. Because of our little bus adventure we are both getting sick from having to be out in the cold. I need a car.

10 Small Tasks to do While on Hold

This morning I had to call WIC about getting an email address to email a certification to them for my appointment later this afternoon. I was on hold for over an hour waiting to speak to someone. After nearly 60 minutes of listening to an automated voice tell me, "Please hold. Someone will be with you shortly." every thirty seconds, someone finally connected to promptly hang up on me as soon as I said "hello" and then I had to call back and hold AGAIN for another hour. While on hold, I discovered this nifty list of ten small tasks to do while you are on hold.

1. Paint your fingernails
2. Wipe down the kitchen counter tops
3. Check for Demand Media titles
4. Check your Facebook for *important* updates
5. Make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich
6. Make another cup of coffee
7. Feed the cat
8. Program your DVR with shows you will be missing because you have to work late
9. Straighten the photos hanging on the wall
10. Update the grocery list

We Made Cupcakes Today!

Being a professional baker, I am often sad that I don't have to time for it at the moment with work, watching my son and sleeping- these are the only things that I feel I do anymore. I recently purchased a fabulous book called Cupcakes! From The Cake Mix Doctor by Anne Byrn. This is a great book for those that want to be super-mom and live the 1950s lifestyle but just don't have the time. The book is all cake box or muffin mixes with a twist so that you never know it didn't come from home.

The recipe that we used was for Coconut Snowballs. It was an easy process and the cupcakes turned out great except I overfilled the paper cups. The frosting is actually a whip cream with coconut on top. I would have used something else because you then have to put them in the fridge since they use fresh cream. This makes the cake not as soft and moist as I like it to be.

Now I say "we" in this, because Hail has had a little trouble "down under" lately and his little bottom hurts making sitting difficult for him. Because of this, he wants to be held a lot and today has been no exception. So we made cupcakes in the fact that I did them all one handed and he occasionally got to "help" turn over a cup of oil or milk into the batter. :)

Overall it was a lot of fun, and the cupcakes turned out great. I definitely recommend this book to every super-mom out there that wants to do it all but just doesn't have the time.

Daddy Disappointments

I have to write this post because this is something that I have seen far too often in my lifetime and it has really been bothering me.

Sunday, I got a text from my husband saying that he wanted to come over on Monday to visit with our son. "Great! You can come any time," I told him, "We have nothing planned for the day."

Monday comes and we wait, and wait, and wait, and wait some more. All day Sunday, I was hopeful that he would really show up. I talked to Hail about getting to see his daddy, something that in hindsight I wish I hadn't done. Now, keep in mind that I have never disillusioned Hail in who his daddy is, he knows him, and when we talked about him on Sunday, he seemed to remember him- judging by the gigantic smiles he gave me each time I mentioned him.

Finally, around 11 PM I get a text stating that "I tried but couldn't make myself come over. You were right, I am a coward." I am not sure what exactly there is to be afraid of here, unless you cannot face the fact that you left a 3 1/2 month old child behind and haven't seen him in over a month. That is 1/3 of his ENTIRE life.

Never before and never will I say anything bad about Hail's daddy in front of him because I want him to make his own opinions, judgments and feelings for him. But seriously, if this is a continuing trend- what do you tell your child when they ask why their daddy didn't want them? Or why daddy never showed up.

All day Monday, Hail avoided taking a nap. He would look around in anticipation every time someone came to the door, any time my phone made a noise, and any time there was a sound that he recognized. I could really care less whether he wants to be there for me, or really even wants anything to do with me at all. It makes my heart hurt and absolutely sickens me that someone could walk away from their child, especially at such a young age for their own selfish reasons. Or even the lack thereof.

Cowardice or not, this little boy needs his daddy as all other little boys need their daddys. He's a happy baby boy, full of smiles and giggles. He is very forgiving, but I doubt he will be forever when he is given nothing but disappointments. I am his mommy, I can't be his daddy too. I don't have any intentions of finding him a new one, I want the one he already has to make the decision to be a part of this sweet little boy's life. I can't make that decision for him.

You Just Can't Have Nice Things

Today I have come to the realization that whether it is children or pets, as a parent, you just can't have nice things. My cat, Moo, I live him dearly- he is my first child- decided to run around the house like a bat out of hell this evening and ended up breaking 2 of my snow globes. I love snow globes. I find them to be unique with their songs, and small stories that each one tells, so I collect them. I had a beautiful snow globe of two bunnies hedging trees in the garden and an equally gorgeous Alice in Wonderland snow globe depicting the scene where Alice meets the caterpillar and he blows her smoke rings asking, "Who are you?". The Alice in Wonderland played Nocturne by Chopin while the bunny snow globe played a song called in my garden. They are no more.

Because I was holding Hail in the rocking chair next to the bookshelf that the snow globes sat atop, I had to do everything to make sure that he didn't get hurt. I had to throw myself around him and let the cat attack my arm as he tried to tiptoe around the glass that he broke and avoid the glitter, which I am still convinced, is the herpes of the crafting world. Once it gets on you, it never goes away.Hail was a little shaken by the sudden craziness, and he cried, of course. I on the other hand will more than likely have to go to the doctor at some point this weekend to get a tetanus shot to make sure that these deep scratches on my upper arm do not become infected.

So, for this momma, lesson learned. As a parent, I can no longer have nice things. There is no place high enough for anything of value to sit where it will still remain valuable.

Dear Moo- A Letter to my Cat

Dear Moo,
Most of the time I love you a lot. Since we have moved, you have kept me awake all night long screaming in the window and running back and forth from one end of the house into the bathroom and back into the dining room. If I have to listen to this one more time, I may hog tie you at night while I sleep.

There is no reason to yell at the bathtub faucet. Screaming at it will not make the water come out. Sitting in the sink for hours only makes the drain fill with your hair. Oh, and that orange and white cat you see in the mirror is you. Of course he talks back, he says everything that you do.

It is unfair of you to think that you can stay up all night long and sleep all day when everyone in the world is awake. Reverse your schedule. I will never understand why you feel that you need to sleep at the noisiest times of the day then glare at me contemptuously when I run the vacuum, get something to eat, bug you to stay up or anything else that may disrupt your sleep like you do to mine.

If I get one more sleepless night, you may start sleeping outside.
Love,
your human
p.s. I'm the one with the fish treats- if you do not be nice and start cooperating you may never see them again.

Why Your Friends With Kids Are Too Tired to Hang Out

I get this question a lot from my friends that have no kids. They always want to know why it is that I never have time for them after my long day of "doing nothing." First of all, jerk, if you think that I do nothing, come stay at my house for a day. I'll go to work for you and leave you with my list of to-do. Not unlike most parents these days, everything I do in a day, I do alone. Super mom is a title that EVERY mom should have, especially ones that are single parents, work from home and don't ditch their kids on the first person that will take them.

To my childless friends, I say; "What time do you get up in the morning? Do you get up, shower, have a cup of coffee, read the paper and then head out the door to work?" Most of them say yes. Well, my day starts at 5:30AM. I do not get a few minutes of relaxation, I wake up and have to immediately start working. At 8:00AM Hail wakes up and he has to be fed, changed, burped, and dressed. All these things take my undivided attention for approximately an hour and a half before first nap time.

First nap comes. This is my one chance to shower, get a cup of coffee, edit some work, clean the kitchen, start a load of laundry and maybe have some toast. There isn't always time for toast.

When Hail wakes, he will will have to be changed, fed, burped and now he wants to play. So for the next three hours, my undivided attention is needed while we sing, dance, learn new things, work on feelings and emotions, and then finally ten minutes to wind down in his swing while I switch the laundry and he falls into second nap.

Second nap. Work furiously until Hail wakes up, two hours later.

when second nap is over, it is time to eat, burp, and change diapers again. After this, it is play time again. He will be more energized now after two naps and will and will want to play "10 little monkeys" (this is my upper body work out as it takes a lot to bounce a baby continuously for ten rounds of monkeys jumping on the bed). Then it is time for a story, a snack, tummy time, which requires undivided attention so that he doesn't roll off the couch, scoot into something and hurt himself, and then time to play in the swing while I attempt to make myself dinner. If we are having a bad day, I have to hold him and cook one handed.

Dinner time is the time that he will want your attention because he is most fussy. Eating one handed is a major part of being a super mom. This part of the evening will probably be more fussy than any other. This is largely in part because he will fight sleep. He will fight and fight for nearly four hours until he passes out hard.

Time to go to work again. This is important that you get little sleep so that all financial goals can be made to ensure diapers, clothes, soap and everything else that you need.

Now, keep in mind that all of this is only attainable if I have nowhere to go that day. If I do, then I have an extremely fussy kid because naps are missed, feeding is often delayed and they don't always get changed when they want to be. This makes for frustration on an already tired momma. So after the sleep deprivation, working around an infant, providing undivided attention to teach, feed, change, burp and play with someone that cannot do anything for themselves, perhaps, my childless friends will know why I have no time for them.

The Joys of Naptime

Before the last 3 months, naps were not anything that I really cared about or even thought twice about. Now that I have a 3 month old, nap time is my best friend. Earlier this afternoon, I did find myself falling asleep in the rocking chair with Hail while I was burping him. Then I realized, "I have to get up! I have an hour of nobody wanting my attention, nobody needing me for anything. I must do something!"

So, during the first nap, I cleaned the kitchen. Second nap, bathroom. When I first got pregnant, everyone told me that I should use nap time to nap as well. Fortunately, I have been blessed with a kid that sleeps 8 straight hours through the night and has since he was six weeks old.

Since I am a stay at home mom, many people feel that I don't do anything all day long because my house isn't SPOTLESS, I am often still in my jammies, and I look like I just woke up. This is the farthest from the truth. I have a job. I am a freelance writer which requires me to be on my computer a lot. Because I am also a teacher, parent, nurse, cook, entertainer and friend to my precious baby boy I have to get up before he does, stay awake after he goes to bed and work while he naps. This means that my day starts at 5:30 in the morning and ends around midnight, every night.

I would really love someone that feels I am so lazy to do my job. I am a very interactive parent. I sing, read, play, watch movies, dance with my son every moment that he is awake. So most of my day is go, go, go and I do it alone. How many people do you know that are given any sort of appreciation for that? Anyone that has ever met my son says that he is a very sweet boy. From the time he was born, I've worked with him on sounds, grasping things, memory and other things as well. Hail is full of smiles, happy sounds and very rarely ever cries. Why? Because he's a happy baby- he has no reason to cry. I know thousands of parents that cannot say the same about their kids, and many that even resent them because they were not happy babies.

I know that Hail is a momma's boy, and I know that it's entirely my fault. But at the same time, I feel that these long days and nights and undivided attention is worth it. That is the real joy of nap time.

Successes and Failures of 2010

Well, 2010 was not a good year for me. As most year's new years resolutions go, I fell short in my attempts of self improvement over the year. Then the other things that I accomplished, I did a little too well. Last year I had stated that I wanted to get healthy. In January, I went to the doctor for a kidney infection. She gave me antibiotics and I ended up getting so Healthy that I got pregnant. Nobody told me that antibiotics would negate my birth control! Well now I have a beautiful little boy to love, cherish and watch in amazed awe as he learns and grows each day. :)

Hail's daddy told me that he wants a divorce- only 2.5 months after he was born... so, to sum up that crappy year, I had a baby and became a single mom all in one year. Awesome! 2010 you can kiss my ass! I have started 2011 with a fresh start and a new beginning. I moved into my own place on new years eve day. I rang in the new year in my new apartment and since then have learned the joys of living near a train. I never new I hated trains so much...

Although I do not have many resolutions for the 2011 year, I have chosen, what I think to be the best ones possible. Here they are;

1. Be the best momma I can for my little boy.
2. Finish school
3. Get a car
4.Improve my credit
5. Stay healthy
6. Get crafty

What are your new years resolutions this year? How do you plan to keep them?