Wednesday, January 26, 2011

Lets Get Real

It is no secret that I do not have many friends. Perhaps it is my crippling honesty that drives people away or my inability to tell people no, which consequently allows everyone to walk on me, which in turn also means losing friends because once they have bled me for what they can, they are done. Whatever the case may be, it leaves me with few friends, and sadly, many of the ones that I do have don't live in the same state as I do and I've never met in person.

Right now, I could really use a good friend. Someone that doesn't know my other half, someone that can listen and let me bitch about anything and everything for awhile, and someone that will just be mad for me that I have to go through it all. So where does one turn to find such things? Where else but Craig's List. While looking through some of the ads that people place, it is no wonder that they are looking for more friends. I do not disclude myself from this either. Obviously, I have flaws that keep people away in droves- two of the biggest hindrances- I have a kid and no car. I recognize these flaws and I will be more than glad to point them out to you even before we meet, therefore, you have no expectations of something you won't receive. But seriously, lets get real.

Do most people really not see that they are limiting themselves when they state that they can only have friends that work a regular 9-5 are fit and like to drink every Tuesday? What kind of a peach are you when you are being so specific that you are essentially looking for a clone of yourself? Stating that you can't have friends that are over or under the 20-25 age range, or completely eliminating everyone with kids means that you could potentially be eliminating the perfect person from your life. The way that I see it, that single mom that continues to work for her kid and is willing to give up her Saturday night to watch The Princess and the Frog for the millionth time and wake up at 5 in the morning with a small child that had bad dreams obviously has a really big heart and a lot of love to give.

Why is it that people feel that they need to present themselves as a package instead of just saying 'hey, this is me. Take it or leave it. I'm broke, I give everything I have to someone else, but I'm happy to do it again. I just want a good friend to laugh and cry with. Someone to share my good times and bad ones.' You don't need someone to get f*cked up with every weekend, you don't need the next STD to crawl in your bed, or your 15th child to pop out either. Did that bottle of tequila really make you happy? Even as you passed out on the bathroom floor in your own sickness? Do you wish you could just stay in watching a movie or reading a book for once, but can't now because the friends you limited yourself to having expect you to go out and dance until your legs hurt and your toes are bleeding from the uncomfortable heels you *had* to wear?

Lets get real. Limiting your options isn't going to help you find what you're looking for. It's all about the options.


Sheltie Times said...

In many ways it is easier that some take themselves out of that realm. I don't have kids but I do have dogs. If they don't want to deal with dogs and are going to be a pain in the rear, get it out up front and be gone. I would rather not waste time with people who only are focused on their needs and there are plenty of them out there.

Mandy said...

I love you Nichole and wish we lived closer! I don't have a lot of friends either. I think sometimes people see us as antisocial because we work at home and sit at home all day to them, when we are really making a living.

Nicole said...

I don't think you're wrong at all for thinking the way you do. I completely understand your point of view and can relate to not having many friends. The truth is, I have no friends that live near me. My closest friend is in Pennsylvania. I'm in Maine, so there's a huge difference. It can get lonely sometimes. My life revolves around my children. I don't really drink other than on special occasions. In fact, I've never been drunk because the thought of losing control does not appeal to me. While it sucks not having people close by to hang out with, if having friends means not being the mom my kids need, then I don't want those friends. I would not give up my children for anything. If you ever want to talk, just holler. Believe me, I have my share of complaints.


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